Fw: when insults had class

It isn't a issue of English usage but more that we now live in a wit-less
state.

----- Original Message -----
From: John Law
To: John Law
Sent: Friday, December 07, 2007 2:16 PM
Subject: Fwd: when insults had class


I'm guessing that  y'all will like these quips:




 Subject: Real insults



 When Insults Had Class

 These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was
still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down
to 4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers:


 The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
 She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison,"
 and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

 A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
 "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of
 some unspeakable disease."
 "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "on whether
 I embrace your policies or your mistress."

 "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

 "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of
 the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

 "A modest little person, with much to be
 modest about." - Winston Churchill

 "I have never killed a man, but I have read many
 obituaries with great pleasure."- Clarence Darrow

 "He has never been known to use a word that
 might send a reader to the dictionary."
 - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

 "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions
 come from big words?"
 - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

 "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book;
 I'll waste no time reading it."
 Moses Hadas

 "He can compress the most words into the
 smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

 "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice
 letter saying I approved of it." -  Mark Twain

 "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked
 by his friends." - Oscar Wilde


 "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my
 new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."
 - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
 "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend
 second... if there is one."
 - Winston Churchill, in response.

 "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost
 like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

 "He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
 - John Bright

 "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope
 it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

 "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause
 of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

 "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to
 run up." - Paul Keating

 "There's nothing wrong with you that
 reincarnation won't cure." - Jack E. Leonard

 "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
 - Robert Redford

 "They never open their mouths without
 subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
 - Thomas Brackett Reed

 "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she
 always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

 "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
 - Forrest Tucker

 "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope
 without any address on it?"  - Mark Twain

 "His mother should have thrown him away
 and kept the stork." - Mae West

 "Some cause happiness wherever they go;
 others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

 "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses
 lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
 - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

 "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

 "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening
 But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx